Lovely in a Painful Way

This is a bit of a throwback. With my infinite time these past two months and no means of doing anything else that costs money, I started fiddling around with the guitar again. Thought to revisit this song we (Josh with the actual real music parts, the words by me) wrote years ago. I keep playing it with different chords, though, in a different key. Can't quite figure out what Josh and Cam were playing originally.

With my infinite time these past two months I even practiced the song and made a recording using my old podcast mic, but I really hate the sound of my own voice and decided not to post it. The poor bandcamp recording (engineered by yours truly with a cracked copy of Cubase, a single M-Audio interface, Shure microphone I still think I owe Cam or Josh $80 for, in the dank basement on Lowther) will have to do.


The original emo lyrics from the bandcamp:

trying to make things work after losing someone you love makes for a song that's lovely in a painful way

we sit at the side of parties in backyards on trains home and when she died your family stood around her could things get better could we just stay together if i could hold you still would you wait for me i dunno how long this is gonna take it'll take time take a walk with me through the park we wont get home until after dark but i just wanna go somewhere and talk to you 3 years go by what did they do whats changed did i or was it you lets just sit ourselves right down here for a few more moments

I forgot how it got to be "lovely in a painful way" (I think J coined it and I immediately thought "holy shit, you're right;" I'm not sure), but I remember pretty vividly where it came from. It was either late 2009 or early 2010 (or was it late 2010/early 2011?) and it was the three of us in her room, drunk and stupid like the bad old days. We (I and he) had only recently re-connected since drifting apart in high school. It was thanks to her that we became close again. In that bedroom,  he re-told the story I had only seen from a distance in grade 12.

I remember first hearing about what happened from my locker. Even though we had drifted, a bunch of us still went to the funeral together. What I didn't see was the toll and remorse. I think we were both in tears when I said I wanted to write that into a song.

Josh has a knack for songwriting and performing. This one came together way more organically and quickly than other Belleau Woods songs. Josh tweaked the lyrics around a bit/a lot to make it work for him. This was the first (only?) time I got to use the Casio I bought off Kajiji for the little melodies in the interludes. I wanted to be Johnny Foreigner so bad but amateur historian will have to do. In practice, Josh would whistle or "doo doo" them. I recorded this with my Fender Jazz Bass (I think Cam still has it?), though Stevie played it live. This was probably my peak bass skills at the time. The sloppy drums you also hear in this recording were also played by me, since at the time I had filled in and only tried my best to copy Matt A who is several trillion times more talented than I on the kit. I was likely playing drums for about 8 months at that point. It was recorded on my electronic drum kit (I think Matt V still has it?).

I think Shane's ex did the art attached to this track? J can definitely be credited for the rest of the art. I totally just remembered I put together BW zines for our shows. What an indie schmindie tool I was. Recording and putting these songs would be one of the last things BW ever did. I went to Berlin for the first time a few weeks after posting these on bandcamp.

The reason this is still so stuck in my head is that, funny enough, I think it actually did take like 3 years. I totally called it lmao.